Russian dating marriage customs
I had the honor of attending a Russian wedding last year.My former exchange student was married in Yaroslavl. The meaning of the family in Russia is not limited to the husband, wife and children.It stretches to include grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces.In response to the gracious exterior display, men generally act in a way that Americans would describe as “gentleman-like.” They give up their seats on the metro, hold out a hand to help you off a bus, and hold doors open for women, even if they are strangers.As one of my professors pointed out, it is ingrained in their minds that if a woman is in their presence, they, as men, should be on their best, most polite behavior.In the majority of Russian families, the husband is 4-6 years older than his wife but the age difference of more than 10 years is still acceptable by most Russians (for example, the lead singer of the popular Russian band Mumiy Troll is sixteen years older than his young wife).
Specifically, in Russia, society has completely different views of women and their expectations. Americans (and maybe other people, but, yeah, mostly Americans) tend to date just to date for the heck of it in the beginning. I’m not saying we want him to, but at this point of our lives we don’t have to worry about him being in a nursing home, etc. Whenever we get around to having kids (it’s on our to-do list, right under “buy milk” and “return library books”) we’re not going to be in our thirties (we hope). Other people have written about this, including Penelope Trunk (whom, as you may recall, I disapproved of earlier, but I completely agree with her on this one.) Also, even though I’m pretty big on feminism and choice, etc, it’s not good for female biology, no matter how you slice it.Russians (and maybe other immigrant/ethnic groups that I am too lazy to look up) date immediately looking for a serious relationship and for marriage. On the dating habits of young Russians, she said: ”Your attitude is that you are doing it for a higher purpose.A lot of people in the American community seem to date so that they have something to talk about with a friend at dinner.” ”If you are going out with someone for two years and you haven’t figured out some integral part of the relationship and you’re not sure and you don’t know, then you shouldn’t be together.” I’ve noticed this occasionally with American friends, that they’ll date someone for no apparent reason, and break up with them for small slights, like, “She didn’t brush her teeth correctly,” or, “She called her mom too often.” Not exactly, but silly reasons that should not be deal breakers at all. B and I agreed that the key parts of a relationship that you should break up over include whether you can trust the person, whether you think they will provide for your family, and whether you think they are generally a good person.
She is a wonderful person, and I have known her fiance as well for a few years.